Welcome back to the office — where the coffee is weak, the meetings are endless, and your soul still misses sweatpants. In Ctrl + Alt + Deceive , Genevieve Evergreen delivers the ultimate survival guide for anyone forced to abandon the bliss of working from bed and return to fluorescent lights, awkward small talk, and strategic bathroom breaks. Packed with painfully accurate observations, hilarious advice, and a few ethically questionable tips, this book is your unofficial handbook for looking busy while doing the bare minimum. From mastering the fake sigh to creating an entire side hustle during Zoom calls, you'll learn how to navigate office culture like a corporate ninja — agile, over-caffeinated, and slightly dead inside. If you've ever muted a meeting to scream into a pillow or spent 20 minutes in the bathroom just to emotionally reboot, this book is for you. Your manager might call it "low engagement." We call it high-functioning survival . Welcome to the show. Your performance starts at 9.