There are moments throughout our lives that define us all. Growing up in a normal home with what I assumed was a normal family with normal problems, I learned very quickly how to suppress my feelings and not be a burden to others. I was too young to know then that I was setting the table for the enemy to have a seat there. That set the path for moment after moment in my early years to let the enemy in. Throughout my life, it has felt like one step forward, and two steps back. Many triumphs, even more failures, losses, and grief would plague my life for decades. I couldn't tell you back then what I was facing was rooted in my mind and my upbringing, but I knew I loved my family, I was passionate about what I felt God had called me to, and no matter how far I ran, I couldn't outrun my thoughts, which would cripple me time and time again. Through over a decade of struggle, therapy, reflection, and learning to grieve, I believe my story will resonate with others like me. I want them to know, that although their story is unique, they are not alone in this battle. They, like me, can overcome. I want to tell you my story of growing upward.