Desperate to grab some headlines, fading starlet Sindee Sands schemes to marry her reality-challenged twelve-year-old daughter off to similarly aged gangsta rapper. To celebrate this enactment of "the new virginity," 'Tween Bride is staging a TV spectacular to end all spectaculars. They even recruited a Korean boy band to do a rap version of "The Star Spangled Banner." Hey, if it moves product, how wrong can it be? Only the little disaster demands a Porsche and a boob job before she walks down the aisle. And that's just for starters. No Boobs, No Kardashians satirizes the selfie-wedding cult, reality TV, and just about everything else in American life. Tune in a truly zany, sharp-edged ride.